For me, fall has always been a time to hunker down with whatever project I'm working on. It's when summer schedules are finally filed in the memory boxes and routines are re-established. This year, however, is different. This year I'm sharing my space with my family. But more than that, this year has an overabundance of emotional and mental drains.

Writing can be challenging enough under perfect conditions. Add a healthy dose of 2020 to the mix and it can be downright impossible. It's more important than ever to enforce boundaries to protect our creative side.

Note: I wrote a similar post about protecting writing boundaries three years ago that still holds true. This post, however, is the 2020-version. :-) 

This can be hard when everyone in your family is at home, especially when you're used to having chunks of the day for yourself with only the cats (and brain squirrels) to interrupt your flow. I'm lucky that my son is older and doesn't need me to watch over him during  school hours. But his room is right next to my office and his class schedule includes downtime for homework. And even though my husband works in the basement, that's still another person who will, occasionally, ask a question.

​I've had to adjust expectations for my schedule. I no longer have the five uninterrupted hours to work plus the couple of hours in the evening while I waited at the climbing gym. I can't fiddle around the way I used to and still be able to fit in writing once I was ready to settle in. 

So I set boundaries -- for family and myself. I now get up earlier and write for an hour and half before everyone wakes up. And I write during my son's actual class time then allow for flexibility when he's on his break. The adjustment was tricky at first but I'm finding that having that set time helps my focus. Put your writing time in the family calendar so everyone knows that block of time is spoken for.

I'm also very selective about when I schedule calls or appointments. I'm most creative in the mornings so I've blocked off my calendar until 12:30 every day. I close out of social media and email and set my phone to allow messages and calls from only a couple of people (I don't want news headlines popping up for example).

With everyone needing space at home, we've spent much of the last few months shuffling and reshuffling, trying to accommodate everyones needs. There was even brief discussion about whether my office should be converted to my sons study and music space. But my office is my private sanctuary. I love (almost) everything about this little room and this is where I draw the line on sharing. 

Not everyone is lucky enough to have a dedicated room though. Even if you can only carve out a comfy chair in a corner of your house or time-share on your kitchen table, set clear expectations with the people around you that during your writing time, that space is off limits.

Story ideas and early drafts are, for me, like relationships in that beginning budding phase. I prefer not to introduce them to friends or family until I'm sure there's something there. I don't want someone else's opinion about my story or my characters clouding the initial creative process. That's not to say I don't brainstorm with friends, but I've learned to be selective about who I confide in and when.

​These days, though, I've had a harder time keeping my thoughts on track. With everything going on -- both inside and outside the home -- my brain has felt like a hamster cage with seriously over-caffeinated hamsters. No, that doesn't mean I'm cutting back on coffee (that wouldn't be good for anyone) but what it does mean, is that I don't engage in many conversations about the state-of-the-world/politics and when I do, it's with people I trust will have a constructive dialogue.

As writers, we need to leave enough breathing space for our characters and their stories. That's not to say we should be squirreling away and ignoring the world. But it does mean that you need to know yourself well enough to recognize when to keep ideas close and when to open up.

If you know me, then you know I'm the poster child for introverts (the whole stay-at-home directive wasn't a stretch for me). But staying put also means more time on social media, more time watching/reading news, more time to work because I'm not running around with errands or driving my boy around. All of those "mores" are draining. 

As part of protecting my writing time, I was already in the habit of closing out of email and social media for periods of time. But this weird new reality we're living had me slightly obsessed with watching news and monitoring social media. I found myself spending far too  much time focused on what everyone else was doing. 

I measured my progress, or lack of in many cases, against what others were posting and fretted over the debilitating news reports. And at the end of the day, I barely had the energy to deal with what to fix for dinner much less what to do with my writing.

Limiting the amount of time I spent on social media and news channels to the bare minimum helped the productivity (I wrote 2/3 of a manuscript and revised it twice) and it put me in a much better place mentally and emotionally. 

Early in my writing journey, my husband said: "If you don't take yourself seriously as a writer, why would anyone else?" He was right. This isn't such a stretch then ... In order to write, you have to protect your creative boundaries. 

I have a problem ... okay, I have lots of problems but we're going to talk about one in particular today ... overthinking. I wasn't always this way but it seems like the older I get, the less I trust my decisions. Isn't it supposed to be the other way around? You get wiser (or maybe that's just a higher dose of don't-give-a-shit) as you age?

Anywhoo ... over the last few months, it's gotten even worse. For every decision that needs to be made, I have arguments for and against, I triple guess, and I make my family nuts with questions and backtracking and what-should-I-dos. 

Some are laughable (once I put the brakes on the spin-cycle of thoughts). Should I send that query out or stop? Should I keep reading this book even though I'm really not digging it?  

Some are more problematic. Do I say yes to letting my kid hang out with friends? Which of the various story ideas do I want to write on next.

And some are impossible. Should I book myself into a hotel or Inn for a few days to write and refill the creative well? When and how can I go visit my parents?

Last week I talked about looking at the positive instead of dwelling on the negative. Today, as I overthink into my fourth cup of coffee, I'm starting to think that maybe I've had entirely too much caffeine already. Or not?

Every once in a while you pick up a book that feels like a gift from the book gods. It's that perfect story at the absolute right moment in your life. It makes you forget the mess around you and makes you smile. I listened to this book on audio and not only was the story itself enchanting, but I loved the narrator. It was the type of story I couldn't stop listening to but didn't want to get to the end of.  

From Goodreads: 
Filled with a colorful and unforgettable cast of literary figures, The House at the End of Hope Street is a charming, whimsical novel of hope and feminine wisdom.

Distraught that her academic career has stalled, Alba is walking through her hometown of Cambridge, England, when she finds herself in front of a house she's never seen before, 11 Hope Street. A beautiful older woman named Peggy greets her and invites her to stay, on the house's unusual conditions: she has ninety-nine nights to turn her life around. With nothing left to lose, Alba takes a chance and moves in. 

She soon discovers that this is no ordinary house. Past residents have included Virginia Woolf and Dorothy Parker, who, after receiving the assistance they needed, hung around to help newcomers - literally, in talking portraits on the wall. As she escapes into this new world, Alba begins a journey that will heal her wounds - and maybe even save her life.

Almost every author I've talked to has confessed that self-doubts and imposter syndrome is something they've gone through at least at some point in their career or something they go through with every new book. For some, it's almost debilitating, for others it's a temporary annoyance. 

Doubts come in all shapes and sizes and, over the years, I've learned how to deal with the majority of mine. That doesn't mean I don't still fight them on a regular basis or fall victim to their nagging sometimes, but for the most part, I've learned to recognize when those doubts are veering into curl-up-in-a-ball territory and gained the tools to steer them in a more positive direction. 

Several years ago when I was in the middle of revisions for Carousel Beach, I had a particularly nasty episode of why-did-I-think-I-could-do-this-itis (I even wrote a blog post about it for Writer's In The Storm). A dear friend told me to trust my gut. My gut hasn't always been the most trustworthy, so I was a bit (lot) skeptical. She pushed on, saying: "You didn't get where you are on accident. You know better than you think you do." 

Lately, I've been flopping around about what to write. My problem isn't one of ideas, I've got tons of those. My problem is not trusting that I can live up to those ideas. My problem is allowing the doubts to dictate my actions.

Earlier in the year, I completed a manuscript, revised, then started submitting it. I cleared off my desk and pulled out my ideas sheet. This is where I keep the "back cover copy" blurbs for the various story ideas. One idea in particular had been poking at me for some time. The tone of that story felt much different than my previous books and I thought it would be a nice change, a palette cleanser of sorts during a time when I really needed an escape. And I settled down to write.

I promptly feel in love with the characters and the story. Writing became fun. You know where this is going, right?

It was fun until rejections on the previous manuscript started popping in and shoved down my confidence like the bully self-doubt can be. Suddenly, I knew, just KNEW that the story I was now nurturing and loving wasn't going to have any more luck in the big bad world than the previous book baby.

I stopped writing. I picked up another work-in-progress. And stopped with that one, too. I switched to a different genre, and froze with that book as well. Every time a story started to come together, my uncooperative brain would poke at my decision. 

Yesterday, in a moment of despair-fueled decluttering, I came across a print of that graphic above with the wise words of my friend. This morning, with those words in my head, I revisited one of the projects I'd started noodling. Guess what? It's a good story and I can write it.

So I'm overruling my head and the self-doubts it keeps tossing at me like the acorns the squirrels were pelting me with on my walk earlier. For now, I'm going to trust my gut because, yeah, I didn't get here by accident.

2020 has, so far, been the year of more ups and downs that I can remember in a very long time. It's easy to rattle off all of the downs ... hello pandemic that pulled the rug out from under all of us, an insanely stressful political situation, wildfires and hurricanes, career turmoil, isolation ... I could keep going but then I'd have to crawl back into bed and hide for the rest of the day. 

That brings me to the point of this post. I'm not, by nature, a bubbly personality. I'm quick to worry about anything that could go wrong; to overthink and stew about things said (or not said) and how I reacted (or didn't); and to give in to the temptation of curling up on the couch and crocheting until the world stops spinning so fast and loud around me.

Lately, though, I've been trying to find positivity in even the negative situations. A few months ago, I put this sticky note on my desk lamp as a reminder. And, every day, I write down one thing that was positive, that made me happy, that reminded me there's good out there. 

Some days, I struggle to find that happy moment. Honestly, there have been a few "happy" entries that were clearly a reach ... "finishing the crochet donkey," "snuggling with a purring cat for half an hour," "not losing my composure today." But you know what, those aren't insignificant even if they felt ridiculous to write at the time. And when I stop overthinking and poking at the doubts, I can appreciate the positive in each of those statements.

​Turning the negative situation into a less-negative feels like an accomplishment. Turning a less-negative one into a positive is a major win! And each win fuels me to keep going. 

I'm a slow adopter when it comes to audio books. What can I say, I'm old fashioned and like imagining what the characters sound like. I've come across a few books where the narrators fit perfectly with my imagination, others where the narrator frustrated me.

​But I've also discovered the joy of crocheting while listening to an audio book and, especially over the last few months, have been thoroughly enjoying a steady stream of audio books. 

A recent listen that particularly engaged me was The Sun Is Also A Star by Nicola Yoon. I adored the choice of narrators and looked forward to the time I'd have with them each day. Like many audio books, there were times I wish I had the tree version so I could linger on a passage, but the experience of hearing this book was a treat.

From Goodreads:
Natasha: I’m a girl who believes in science and facts. Not fate. Not destiny. Or dreams that will never come true. I’m definitely not the kind of girl who meets a cute boy on a crowded New York City street and falls in love with him. Not when my family is twelve hours away from being deported to Jamaica. Falling in love with him won’t be my story.

Daniel: I’ve always been the good son, the good student, living up to my parents’ high expectations. Never the poet. Or the dreamer. But when I see her, I forget about all that. Something about Natasha makes me think that fate has something much more extraordinary in store—for both of us.

The Universe: Every moment in our lives has brought us to this single moment. A million futures lie before us. Which one will come true?

Monday's post about the calendar flipping over to October, made me think about the different seasons and whether I have a go-to favorite for my books. Spoiler alert: I'm equal opportunity when it comes to using seasons in my books. 

We all connect with the seasons in different ways. A particular season may trigger certain memories or feelings, alter our moods or even our behavior. It’s not a new concept – acknowledgement of seasonal mood disorders dates back to the fourth century Greek philosopher Posidonius. 

For me, Fall has a comforting, safe feeling. Summer a lazy, relaxed one. Spring is fast-forward anticipation. Winter, well, I think I was meant to be a bear who hibernates during the winter. 

What does this have to do with writing? Everything, actually. 

The season (or seasons) in which you set your story can impact the tone of your story, as well as the behavior of your characters. 

Let’s take a look at each season and a few of the different feelings, smells, emotions they conjure. 

This morning I sat down to work through my schedule and goals for the week and realized something that stopped me mid-sip ... we click over into October this week. I'm equal parts horrified that we're already nearing the end of the year and anxious to see the end of 2020.

This year, Fall comes with a new set of anxieties as we barrel into flu season and with Cold numbers going up in a lot of places. I'm worried about what the holidays will bring and whether we'll be able to see family. I'm apprehensive that we're staring into another stay-at-home directive and more disruption on the tentative routines we've started to build.
​
The theme for the October Silk + Sonder planner is "tranquility." In the welcome letter for this month, the creator writes: "There's something so special about the month of October - there's a homey, cozy feeling that permeates the air. I feel protected, warm, and safe."

​I admit, I was surprised how true that felt. I've always loved Fall - sweater weather, snuggling up by the fireplace with a good book, the shorter days that seem to invite calmer evenings (that's not to say calmer evenings necessarily happen but that's my fantasy). I love the colors and the smell of the air.

So I've set myself a challenge ... This October, I'm going to focus on the feelings of Fall.    

At the beginning of March, I was in one of my favorite indie bookstores for an event and this adorable cover caught my attention. Of course, I had to buy it. I didn't know anything about the book at the time.

The week after that event, 2020 seemed to blow up on us. We went into stay-at-home mode with all its challenges and anxieties. There were days that, between the horrors of watching daily developments on the news and struggling to stay positive (for myself and my family),  it all seemed too overwhelming.

Whenever I felt myself sink into negativity, I'd pull this book from the shelf and open it to a random page. And by the time I set it back on the shelf (cover out, of course), it was with a shimmer of hope. 

I've bought this book for a couple of friends and recommend it with all my heart. I also recommend you follow Charlie on Instagram. His heart-felt posts lift my spirits every day.