Several years ago I started picking one word as my guide for the year. There were a few candidates for this year but one I kept coming back to: BELIEVE. 

The last couple of years were tough on so many levels and last year particularly kicked my behind both personally and professionally. My self-confidence took a beating. I've been working hard to pull myself out of that rut and BELIEVE is the word I keep coming back to. Believe in my creativity, believe in my ability, believe in myself.

As for the two crochet buddies, the goldfish is, of course, a nod to Ted Lasso because really, that show is brilliant and he's a perfect reminder to focus on the present. The purple dude? Because monsters aren't so scary when they're purple and smell of lavender. 

There's something amazing about starting a new year with a new writing project. I've spent the last few weeks mulling over story ideas and getting to know the characters better. Today was all about words. Fun words! 

This one feels different from my books and along with that, I've given myself permission to play with my process. That freedom is liberating and a wonderful, much needed reminder, that I started writing because I love telling stories.

Yesterday I had one of those "what the heck am I doing" moments ... you know that moment when you suddenly realize you have no idea what to tackle next because you're in the middle of too many things. And it's just too overwhelming to sort, so you do nothing or start something completely different because you can't decide. Yeah ... that!

Perfect example, crochet projects. This is just the immediate clump of projects -- there are three different creatures in progress in that pile. There's also a shawl and a blanket that are in bags tucked behind the couch. As well as a pretty impressive stash of yarn scraps that I'm turning into small blankets to take to an animal shelter. And I'd be remiss not to mention the bag of new yarn I bought to make the most adorable pair of socks that's on the floor next to the ottoman in the picture.

Then there's reading. I've started three tree books in the past couple of weeks (on top of the two I started several months ago and still haven't finished); I'm toggling between a couple of audio books because neither is grabbing my attention fully; and I've got two different e-books going (one for a contest and one because I was having a hard time getting into the contest book and oh look, I clicked on a different cover). 

And the decluttering effort which goes something like this: Start in one room, make a pile of things to get rid of, go to another room to get a bag for the things that need to be dumped from room one and get distracted with something in that room.

Oh, oh ... browser tabs!!!!! Holy cow, how many browser tabs can one person open!!! 

I've turned into a seriously over-caffeinated squirrel.  

I'm going to try an experiment for the rest of the week ... pick ONE thing to read/listen to, ONE crochet project and put all the others away where I won't see them and get distracted. Obviously I can't hide parts of the house (although wouldn't that be amazing!!) so I'm picking ONE task. And ONE hour to look through open browser tabs and close as many as I get through. Maybe by taking away the shiny distractions, my squirrel brain will be able to settle enough to finally finish ONE thing!

Stay tuned ... squirrel!!!!!!!!!!!! 

It's the last Monday of the month means sharing something that's making me particularly happy at the moment. I've been on a writing marathon this past month and every once in a while, I find myself craving something other than coffee (gasp, I know). 

I have a soft spot for tea and tend to buy more than I drink. But times like this, that buying problem comes in handy. And this particular tea has been making me very happy. Because, (a) look how pretty it is ... 

And (b) it's yummy. Plus the name ... Bee the Change ... how can I not buy into that?!

I'm not the only one who appreciates this tea!

First a quick bit of background. When I was four, we moved from Israel to England. When we moved back to Israel, three years later, we took a few items back with us, including books that I couldn't part with. But when we moved to the United States a couple of years later, there were things that didn't make sense to schlep (and pay for shipping). Makes sense, right?!

Fast forward many years (like thirty-some, cough, sputter), and I get an excited call from my cousin in Israel. She'd been in a used bookstore looking for English books for her daughter and guess what she discovered ... 

Seriously ... what are the odds! This book now has a special spot on the bookshelf in my office where I can see it every day. It reminds me that some books choose us. 

It's hard to believe we've been in this surreal state of isolation for almost a year now. There are so many things I miss about life pre-COVID. One of the biggest ... hugs. 

So I made my own. One day, we'll be able to hug again! In the meantime, sending virtual hugs to anyone who needs one! 

In a number of my writing groups, the conversation has come up about writing books set during 2020 and into 2021. How will we, as writers, handle the pandemic? I've so far, avoided having to address that, setting my work in progress in late 2021 when, fingers crossed, masks and social distancing and restrictions won't be a concern.

Like so many people, we've fallen into binging Netflix and Apple TV, instead of tuning into the programs we normally would have been watching. Last month, however, we started playing catch up with a couple of the programs. Some programs have moved on as though life hasn't changed. Those, interestingly enough, don't bother me. 

But there are a couple of programs that are dealing with the pandemic and those, I was surprised to discover, make me uncomfortable. 

We've kept a very low profile since the beginning of this. We have groceries delivered except for the occasional trip when I really need something and can't get a delivery slot; our only interaction with friends is outside, socially distanced, and even then limited to only a handful of people; my son is doing virtual school and my husband works from a home office in the basement; and the only other place we go, is the climbing gym where they're doing a good job of keeping numbers down with reservation blocks and reduced occupancy, and constant cleaning. 

I admit that I get twitchy when we are out and I see someone not wearing a mask or not wearing it properly, or if I'm in line at the store and someone gets too close. 

So, when a character takes their mask off in a public place or around other people or doesn't socially distance, I cringe and comment and my family threatens to ban me from watching that program.

What I've learned, is that I'm not nearly as okay as I like to pretend I am. It comes in waves and it hits at weird times and I'm often surprised at what triggers it. Maybe, at least for now, I need to stick with binge-watching pre-2020 programs. 

In keeping with giving a shoutout to something that's making me particularly happy on the last Monday of the month, today's happy moment is courtesy of MasterClass. 

I'd looked into this in its early days but, honestly, didn't give it the time it deserved for no other reason than, well ... it was one more distraction I didn't need. Then a couple of years ago, my son took an interest in some of the courses and I signed up for a membership. But, in typical form, I never made the time to watch the classes that intrigued me.

The following year, I renewed and this time, I started watching. We're in our third year and I admit, I'm completely hooked.

Winnie the Pooh has long been one of my favorites. Need a mood boost? Turn to Pooh and his buds for a lift. And whether it's one of the movies or book, the result is always the same. And age, my friends, has nothing to do with it. I think I adore Pooh and his buds as much now as I did when I was a kid!

So happy your day, Winnie the Pooh. Thank you for always making me smile.

About a month into the stay-at-home order last year, I started using the first hour of my day to do a meditation exercise via the Headspace app and read. That was my time to be quiet, without the distractions of the other people in my house or email or social media (the only one I couldn't ignore was the fluffy orange cat who thought meditation time was the perfect opportunity to perfect his stealth pouncing technique).

Somewhere along the way, though, I lost focus on the significance of that hour and allowed other distractions to seep in. Deadlines, projects I'd neglected because of said deadlines, catching up on news and social media and planning and oh my!

Between the news and emotion overload that was 2020 and what I was pushing myself to accomplish, I got to the end of the year even more exhausted than usual. The holidays were quiet but not relaxing. And so far, 2021 hasn't proven to be very chill either.  

And then a couple of days ago, this notification popped up, courtesy of my neglected friend Headspace ... 

Who am I to ignore such wisdom?!

​I've re-instated my hour quiet time while the world is still dark outside and the house is (mostly) still snoring. And yesterday, I did something I haven't done in ages -- I sat on the couch and crocheted, no noise, no guilt.

And guess what ... go ahead, guess ... :-) 
For the first time in quite some time, I felt more grounded. AND found the enthusiasm to get back to writing. 

Every January I pick a word that will be my guide for the year ahead. Usually I end up with a couple of ideas and let them percolate a bit before deciding on the one. This year, however, the word presented itself, fully formed and ready for action.  

​My word for 2021 ... 

Resilience: The capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.

I'm not sure about the "quickly" in the definition. Recovering from the challenges of the past year (more if I'm honest) will be a slow, steady endeavor but resilience is about not giving up. It's about taking the lessons and using them as momentum forward. I don't consider myself tough. 

Resilience will be picking myself up after a fall, maintaining hope when the knocks come, finding the positive when it's easier to see the negative. But most of all, resilience will be about not being defeated. Because I can and I will!