The last time I sat down with Alison Hammer to chat was September 2019 Hotel Albuquerque during the Women's Fiction Writer's Association annual retreat. It was before her debut, You & Me & Us, released [you can read more on that here] and it was so much fun brainstorming marketing ideas and talking writing. Alison is truly one of my favorite people and I'm excited to have her here for a virtual coffee chat. 

Now, pour yourself a mug of something yummy and join us ... 

If we were at a coffee shop, what would you order?
Oh, I wish we were at a coffee shop! I miss them so much, and it would be so wonderful to spend time with you IRL. Depending on the weather, I would order a nitro cold brew, or an Americano. Both with room for the nutpods (a non-dairy creamer) I take with me pretty much everywhere… 
 
At home, do you have one go-to mug or do you pick by mood or whatever is within reach?
I have a few fun mugs, but they’re mostly for decoration or holding pens. When it comes to the mugs I actually use for coffee or tea, I have these big red stackable mugs that are almost like bowls. I love them, and since they sit right on the counter, that’s my go-to! 
 
As a writer, I’m obsessed with writing process. I love hearing how others work their magic. What’s your process like? Do you have certain routines/rituals?
I’m a creature of habit in a lot of areas of my life—including my writing! After my first book took fifteen years to finish writing, I went to the other extreme and started participating in National Novel Writing Month. 
 
This will be my fifth year doing NaNoWriMo, an online program where people around the world are challenged to write 50,000 words in the month of November. I’m super competitive against myself and thrive on deadlines, so it’s great for me! 
 
I usually start the planning process in August or September, so I can have some time to get to know the characters and have a solid outline by November. I have a ritual of starting to write at midnight on Halloween with a glass of champagne as soon as it turns November. 
 
Since I write so quickly, I really embrace the idea of a shitty first draft. That really takes the pressure off of having to make it perfect from the start. The downside of that, is that when I get to my second draft (usually at least six months later), I retype the whole thing. I know it sounds crazy, but it works for me! 
 
Your debut, You and Me and Us released April of 2020. First, I have to gush how much I loved that novel!!!!! Book releases are a mixed bag of emotions to begin with, but you had the added headaches of launching during the pandemic. Setting aside the challenges, what was something positive and memorable from your launch?
Thank you—that means so much coming from you! The emotions around launch were definitely heightened thanks to being just a few weeks into the pandemic, but I always try to look out for the silver linings. 
 
I was lucky that people weren’t burned out by Zoom or virtual events quite yet. I also made a decision not to try and recreate what I had planned for my in-person event (at that point, we thought the pandemic would only be a few weeks, and I might be able to reschedule). Instead, I planned an event that probably wouldn’t have been possible in person. 

Music is a big part of my life (listening, not playing!) so I reached out to Stephen Kellogg—a singer songwriter I’m a big fan of, who also had a book coming out. (Objects In the Mirror is a book of essays that came out in July!) 
 
He agreed right away to interview me and play a few songs. Other than all the technical difficulties (Zoom stopped connecting to Facebook for security reasons and we eventually had to move to Instagram) it was a pretty magical night. One I’ll definitely never forget! 
 
Book two, Little Pieces of Me, is scheduled for release in April 2021. Can you tell us where the seed (or coffee bean :-) ) for this story came from?
The story started brewing (see what I did there?!) one night a few years ago when a friend told me that she’d gotten an email from ancestry.com, telling her that she had a parent-child relationship with a man that was not the father she’d grown up with. 
 
I knew right away that there was a novel-worthy story in there! I took inspiration from what happened to her, and let my imagination do the rest! But I’m really excited for the book to come out on April 13th! 
 
Can you give us a hint about what you’re working on next?
I’m a crazy person and I’m working on several things. This week, I’m hopefully finishing up the second draft of my 2018 NaNoWriMo project, a story about three girlfriends who are dealing with the loss of a friend, while trying to help raise the baby she left behind. I promise it’s not as sad as it sounds! 
 
I’m also getting ready to start my fifth NaNoWriMo. I’m working on this one with a co-writer I’m really excited about. We’ve been working on the story together since July—and we’re actually going to announce the project on Halloween at midnight EST. It’s my NaNo tradition to start writing at midnight with a glass of champagne, so we’re going to do it together on Instagram Live! 
 
(it will be saved on IGTV for anyone reading this after Halloween!) 
 
Back to the coffee shop. Do you eavesdrop on folks at neighboring tables or tune everyone out?
Oh, I totally eavesdrop! Pre-pandemic, I actually did most of my writing at coffee shops. To me, it’s the perfect balance of white noise. If a room is too quiet, I look for distraction. If it’s too loud, I can’t focus. Coffee shops seem to have just the right balance for me. But I definitely lean in when I hear an interesting conversation! 
 
Finally, tell me something about yourself that will make the people at the next table scoot closer to hear better. ;-) 
Hmm. When I was thirteen I was in a montage on America’s Funniest People. I was part of a stunt at Universal Studios that involved a plunger, a nail and a water balloon. I haven’t seen the tape in years, but I’m trying to find it! 
 
This was so much fun, thank you for having me. Can’t wait until the world is safe enough for us to get together in person at a coffee shop! 
 
xo! 

Where to find Alison and links for her fabulous books ... 

www.alisonhammer.com/

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Intuitive Editing by Tiffany Yates Martin.
​This book is a game changer! My copy has  sentences underlined, exclamation marks next to entire passages, and tons of flagged pages. Tiffany's approach is straight forward and, dare I say it, intuitive (groan, I know!). And, as an author herself, she understands the writer's mind.

This book is so much more than a "how-to edit" book though. Tiffany's strategies have not only helped with editing, but also with the brainstorming process on new projects. 

The Emotional Craft of Fiction by Donald Maass.
​I've loved all of Don's books (and his workshops; seriously folks, if you're lucky enough to attend a workshop with him, do it!!!!), but this particular book spoke to me the most. As a reader, I gravitate most to books that leave me raw and inspired from the emotional journey. 

I find myself going back to the Emotional Mastery Checklist in the back of the book on every manuscript to make sure I'm pushing myself to dig deeper. 

On Writing by Stephen King.
​This is just one of those books that every writer needs to own and read and reread when you're doubting why you ever thought writing a book was a good idea. 

I'm not a fan of horror, to be honest, but I am a fan of anyone who is this brilliant at telling a story. This book is inspiring and empowering and an absolute delight to read (and reread).

Rotten Reviews & Rejections edited by Bill Henderson & Andre Bernard.
As writers, we deal with rejection and harsh or just plain weird reviews all the time. It's part of the business that you can't escape. Though we never wish rejection or crap reviews for another writer, there's a comfort in knowing you're not alone. And sometimes, you need the reminder that even the best of the best received their fair share.

This isn't a how-to or even an inspirational book on writing. But it's a good reminder that we're in good company and that keeping a sense of humor is essential. 

I'm dubbing the last Friday of each month as Happy Mug Day (and not just because I want to show off my pretty mug).

So, what's making me particularly happy right now ... 

Streaks. No, not streaking (no one would be happy if I was doing that). Streaks is an app that helps motivate you to stay on track and form good habits. What I like about it over my to-do list and planner: the challenge of keeping a streak going.

I was amused the first time my son commented about keeping a streak alive in Snapchat. I admit, I did the old eyebrow raise. Now I'm as obsessed with keeping mine going in this app. Granted, I've blown a few of the streaks and grumbled when they were reset, but my competitiveness takes over to see if I can break my previous streak each time. 

Sometimes, it's the little things that give us that boost of happy. :-) 

There are books that grab you by the heart and don't let go, not even after you've finished reading and tucked the book back on the shelf. Alison Hammer's debut, You and Me and Us, is one of those books. I was honored to read an advance copy and the moment it released, I bought a couple of copies for friends because oh my goodness I loved this book. 

From Goodreads:
Alexis Gold knows how to put the “work” in working mom. It’s the “mom” part that she’s been struggling with lately. Since opening her own advertising agency three years ago, Alexis has all but given up on finding a good work/life balance. Instead, she’s handed over the household reins to her supportive, loving partner, Tommy. While he’s quick to say they divide and conquer, Alexis knows that Tommy does most of the heavy lifting—especially when it comes to their teenage daughter, CeCe. 

Their world changes in an instant when Tommy receives a terminal cancer diagnosis, and Alexis realizes everything she’s worked relentlessly for doesn’t matter without him. So Alexis does what Tommy has done for her almost every day since they were twelve-year-old kids in Destin, Florida—she puts him first. And when the only thing Tommy wants is to spend one last summer together at “their” beach, she puts her career on hold to make it happen…even if it means putting her family within striking distance of Tommy’s ex, an actress CeCe idolizes.

But Alexis and Tommy aren’t the only ones whose lives have been turned inside out. In addition to dealing with the normal ups and downs that come with being a teenager, CeCe is also forced to confront her feelings about Tommy’s illness—and what will happen when the one person who’s always been there for her is gone. When the magic of first love brings a bright spot to her summer, CeCe is determined not to let her mother ruin that for her, too.

As CeCe’s behavior becomes more rebellious, Alexis realizes the only thing harder for her than losing Tommy will be convincing CeCe to give her one more chance.  

You and Me and Us is a beautifully written novel that examines the unexpected ways loss teaches us how to love.

Last week, I talked about setting and keeping boundaries, especially these days. But here's the thing, sometimes, not even boundaries help. Sometimes what you need is to chuck it all and take care of the most valuable resource you have: yourself. 

What I'm doing these days ... 

I'm reading.
I’m not reading heavy, literary, topic-based books. I’ve started and abandoned five different novels in the last few months. And I’ve resisted attempts at discussing what I’m reading. The novels that have kept my attention are ones that allowed me an hour or two of escape each day. I’m not looking for answers to profound questions or a grand “a-ha” moment. A fellow author suggested (with a not very subtle eye-roll) that I was being shallow, that as a writer I was supposed to be deeper than that. I won’t be swapping titles with that person again.

As a writer, I know just how hard it is to spin a story that transports someone to a different place, a different time. Why then should I feel guilty for enjoying and escaping into a world that someone else has lovingly created? The fact that someones hard work can give me an hour of peace in a day where I feel like my head is spinning like a cheesy horror movie, is brilliant. I'd be delighted to hear from readers that my books did that for them.

Maybe I’m not “learning” from an authors carefully honed craft. But I am honoring that carefully honed craft by letting her words transport me. I am escaping, I’m okay with that. And when I put the book down, I’m in a better place.

I'm learning.
In the last few months, I've devoured several MasterClass courses on writing (plus a couple on cooking and science because life isn't all about writing), and signed up for a few online workshops. I'm reading and re-reading books on writing and personal care. 

I've also been working on two projects that are outside of my regular genre and, for now at least, just for fun. What a fun exercise to stretch my creativity and re-discover the joy of writing for the sake of writing.

I'm watching TV.
I'm not usually a big TV watcher. Not because I have anything against it -- there are actually a lot of programs I really enjoy -- but because life gets too busy and by the evening, I'd rather sink into the tub with a book. But now that we're all home and the usual afternoon/evening mom-uber driving is down to a minimum, the evenings allow for more downtime.

It's been fun binge watching new or new-to-us series with the entire family. And I've even watched and rewatched a few feel-good movies.

I'm taking me time.
One positive that's come out of the last few months is that I'm relearning the importance of taking time for myself, whether that's half an hour to sit outside and read or an hour to listen to an audio book and crochet, or 10 minutes to just sit and breathe and let my brain settle. Yes, there are a million things to do but there are a million reasons to slow down as well.  

I'm not worrying about writing.
There are days I can whip through my word count like it’s a bag of gummy bears. Other days, I sit at my desk, open my manuscript then promptly close it.

I know the “write every day” rule. I don’t. I can’t, especially not lately. But whether I’m consciously thinking about them or not, my characters are always with me. And I find that when I’m not forcing myself to think about them, they’re more forthcoming with their secrets. Most of the time I can lose myself in the writing. But sometimes the anxiety of everything happening around me crowds out the words. Those days, I give in. And I don’t feel guilty because I know the stories are safe.

My one piece of advice to writers, especially as 2020 winds up: Do whatever you need to nurture yourself. And do it without guilt!

For anyone who follows me on social media, you've seen my obsession with crocheting and yarn. Over the years, I've expanded my repertoire from scarves (seriously, how many scarves can one person use and my friends were beginning to dodge me for fear I'd push yet another scarf on them), to shawls and blankets to amigurumi creatures. [You can see a number of them here].

For me, yarn therapy = brain therapy. I crochet when I watch TV or listen to an audio book or when I need to unravel a story idea. Busy fingers help quiet my brain. 

If I'm stuck on a story idea, I'll crochet something that doesn't require thinking. The repetition of the stitches is soothing, and allows my brain to wander. I can't tell you the number of times I've had "ohhhhhh" moments when I've stopped agonized and allowed the brain cells their freedom. Amigurumi creatures are more for stress relief and fun. I mean, really, how can you not smile seeing these?

If you saw my Monday post, you'll see how obvious this choice for a book recommendation is. I saw it at a bookstore and, of course, had to buy it immediately. There are plenty of lines that had me nodding, ones I underlined, and a couple that made it onto sticky notes as constant reminders. Bonus: worksheets at the end of each chapter that make for interesting (and sometimes uncomfortable) moments of reflection.

From Goodreads:
We've all been there: stuck in a cycle of what-ifs, plagued by indecision, paralyzed by the fear of getting it wrong. Nobody wants to live a life of constant overthinking, but it doesn't feel like something we can choose to stop doing. It feels like something we're wired to do, something we just can't escape. But is it?

Anne Bogel's answer is no. Not only can you overcome negative thought patterns that are repetitive, unhealthy, and unhelpful, you can replace them with positive thought patterns that will bring more peace, joy, and love into your life. In Don't Overthink It, you'll find actionable strategies that can make an immediate and lasting difference in how you deal with questions both small--Should I buy these flowers?--and large--What am I doing with my life? More than a book about making good decisions, Don't Overthink It offers you a framework for making choices you'll be comfortable with, using an appropriate amount of energy, freeing you to focus on all the other stuff that matters in life.
​

For me, fall has always been a time to hunker down with whatever project I'm working on. It's when summer schedules are finally filed in the memory boxes and routines are re-established. This year, however, is different. This year I'm sharing my space with my family. But more than that, this year has an overabundance of emotional and mental drains.

Writing can be challenging enough under perfect conditions. Add a healthy dose of 2020 to the mix and it can be downright impossible. It's more important than ever to enforce boundaries to protect our creative side.

Note: I wrote a similar post about protecting writing boundaries three years ago that still holds true. This post, however, is the 2020-version. :-) 

This can be hard when everyone in your family is at home, especially when you're used to having chunks of the day for yourself with only the cats (and brain squirrels) to interrupt your flow. I'm lucky that my son is older and doesn't need me to watch over him during  school hours. But his room is right next to my office and his class schedule includes downtime for homework. And even though my husband works in the basement, that's still another person who will, occasionally, ask a question.

​I've had to adjust expectations for my schedule. I no longer have the five uninterrupted hours to work plus the couple of hours in the evening while I waited at the climbing gym. I can't fiddle around the way I used to and still be able to fit in writing once I was ready to settle in. 

So I set boundaries -- for family and myself. I now get up earlier and write for an hour and half before everyone wakes up. And I write during my son's actual class time then allow for flexibility when he's on his break. The adjustment was tricky at first but I'm finding that having that set time helps my focus. Put your writing time in the family calendar so everyone knows that block of time is spoken for.

I'm also very selective about when I schedule calls or appointments. I'm most creative in the mornings so I've blocked off my calendar until 12:30 every day. I close out of social media and email and set my phone to allow messages and calls from only a couple of people (I don't want news headlines popping up for example).

With everyone needing space at home, we've spent much of the last few months shuffling and reshuffling, trying to accommodate everyones needs. There was even brief discussion about whether my office should be converted to my sons study and music space. But my office is my private sanctuary. I love (almost) everything about this little room and this is where I draw the line on sharing. 

Not everyone is lucky enough to have a dedicated room though. Even if you can only carve out a comfy chair in a corner of your house or time-share on your kitchen table, set clear expectations with the people around you that during your writing time, that space is off limits.

Story ideas and early drafts are, for me, like relationships in that beginning budding phase. I prefer not to introduce them to friends or family until I'm sure there's something there. I don't want someone else's opinion about my story or my characters clouding the initial creative process. That's not to say I don't brainstorm with friends, but I've learned to be selective about who I confide in and when.

​These days, though, I've had a harder time keeping my thoughts on track. With everything going on -- both inside and outside the home -- my brain has felt like a hamster cage with seriously over-caffeinated hamsters. No, that doesn't mean I'm cutting back on coffee (that wouldn't be good for anyone) but what it does mean, is that I don't engage in many conversations about the state-of-the-world/politics and when I do, it's with people I trust will have a constructive dialogue.

As writers, we need to leave enough breathing space for our characters and their stories. That's not to say we should be squirreling away and ignoring the world. But it does mean that you need to know yourself well enough to recognize when to keep ideas close and when to open up.

If you know me, then you know I'm the poster child for introverts (the whole stay-at-home directive wasn't a stretch for me). But staying put also means more time on social media, more time watching/reading news, more time to work because I'm not running around with errands or driving my boy around. All of those "mores" are draining. 

As part of protecting my writing time, I was already in the habit of closing out of email and social media for periods of time. But this weird new reality we're living had me slightly obsessed with watching news and monitoring social media. I found myself spending far too  much time focused on what everyone else was doing. 

I measured my progress, or lack of in many cases, against what others were posting and fretted over the debilitating news reports. And at the end of the day, I barely had the energy to deal with what to fix for dinner much less what to do with my writing.

Limiting the amount of time I spent on social media and news channels to the bare minimum helped the productivity (I wrote 2/3 of a manuscript and revised it twice) and it put me in a much better place mentally and emotionally. 

Early in my writing journey, my husband said: "If you don't take yourself seriously as a writer, why would anyone else?" He was right. This isn't such a stretch then ... In order to write, you have to protect your creative boundaries. 

I have a problem ... okay, I have lots of problems but we're going to talk about one in particular today ... overthinking. I wasn't always this way but it seems like the older I get, the less I trust my decisions. Isn't it supposed to be the other way around? You get wiser (or maybe that's just a higher dose of don't-give-a-shit) as you age?

Anywhoo ... over the last few months, it's gotten even worse. For every decision that needs to be made, I have arguments for and against, I triple guess, and I make my family nuts with questions and backtracking and what-should-I-dos. 

Some are laughable (once I put the brakes on the spin-cycle of thoughts). Should I send that query out or stop? Should I keep reading this book even though I'm really not digging it?  

Some are more problematic. Do I say yes to letting my kid hang out with friends? Which of the various story ideas do I want to write on next.

And some are impossible. Should I book myself into a hotel or Inn for a few days to write and refill the creative well? When and how can I go visit my parents?

Last week I talked about looking at the positive instead of dwelling on the negative. Today, as I overthink into my fourth cup of coffee, I'm starting to think that maybe I've had entirely too much caffeine already. Or not?

Every once in a while you pick up a book that feels like a gift from the book gods. It's that perfect story at the absolute right moment in your life. It makes you forget the mess around you and makes you smile. I listened to this book on audio and not only was the story itself enchanting, but I loved the narrator. It was the type of story I couldn't stop listening to but didn't want to get to the end of.  

From Goodreads: 
Filled with a colorful and unforgettable cast of literary figures, The House at the End of Hope Street is a charming, whimsical novel of hope and feminine wisdom.

Distraught that her academic career has stalled, Alba is walking through her hometown of Cambridge, England, when she finds herself in front of a house she's never seen before, 11 Hope Street. A beautiful older woman named Peggy greets her and invites her to stay, on the house's unusual conditions: she has ninety-nine nights to turn her life around. With nothing left to lose, Alba takes a chance and moves in. 

She soon discovers that this is no ordinary house. Past residents have included Virginia Woolf and Dorothy Parker, who, after receiving the assistance they needed, hung around to help newcomers - literally, in talking portraits on the wall. As she escapes into this new world, Alba begins a journey that will heal her wounds - and maybe even save her life.